Swimming backwards

When a fish was told that fishes swim forward by wagging their tails and bodies
she assumed that wagging her face would make her swim backwards.
This assumption of course is false, and yet we look at so much of the world in this black and white frame.

We all have our own preconceived notions about how something should be, something we have taught ourselves, and something we now believe.

That if I fall in love with someone, they must fall in love back
that if I am the first to show affection, it will come off as needy and desperate
That if I don’t show affection in the right way, I can never experience it shown to me
that if I am myself, it won’t be good enough
that I have to find out what exactly it is that they want
and be that and change myself
that if things go wrong, I won’t bounce back
that if things go right, I will mess it up
that if I give myself up to someone
they will take advantage of it
that if I don’t know how to love correctly
they will leave.

These assumptions are all wrong of course. They’re just my perceived reality, what I have taught myself, what I must unlearn every single day. What I must unlearn with every breath.

The truth is that:
“God has created everything in pairs, of what the earth grows, and of their kind and of what they do not know.” (36:39)

The truth is that:
“It is He who created you from a single soul, And made its mate of like nature in order that you might dwell with her in love….” (7:189)

The truth is that:
“Allah desires that He should make light your burdens, and man is created weak”(4:28)

God’s promise is True. Love comes everyday in small mercies from strangers, family, friends, a spouse and yes even the blowing of leaves in the wind. I dare you to look for love in those places, then I dare you to look further and find that God’s Mercy comes even more swiftly in that loss. To see that God replaces with that which is better for you, that when loss comes you will find love in corners you could never see before. I dare you to keep looking and find God’s mercy in the dying of the leaves, for in watching them fall and disappear into the Earth we are taught our most valuable lessons on life, and its eventuality. I say these things not to dismay, but to enlighten. When we change our thoughts about how the world should be, we change our realities. I want mine to be a good one.

A poem: 

She spoke to her heart and told it
This is temporary
This is temporary
This is temporary

She spoke to her heart and told it
To know pain is be close to God
To know pain is to be close to God
To know pain is to be close to God

She spoke to her heart
And pleaded to it that it might listen
to the expanding and contracting of itself
And remember that all of life is just expanding
From the very first time our heart beats
we learn that nothing stays
And the contracting just brings us one beat closer to feeling life.

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